Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
