I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
