Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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