Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
