if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Randomize
