i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
