She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
