She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
