Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
