just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
