Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
