I'm lost and stupid without you.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
