Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
