Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
