you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
