Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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