Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
