She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
