i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
