do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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