Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
