i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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