i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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