rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
