He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
