Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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