chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
