We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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