he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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