If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
