yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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