I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
