I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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