Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize