I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
