The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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