she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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