My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Fuck appropriateness.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
