If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
