Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's blow job season.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
