Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
