is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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