adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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