is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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