I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
