i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
