happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
