2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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