im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
