this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
