I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
