oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
