Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
