Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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