My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
