I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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