Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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