My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
