Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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