Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
