can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
