if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
