what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
