i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
