Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize