Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
