best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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