She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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