erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
