Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
