But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
